Problem Kids? It’s The Adults That Are The Problem…
Am I kidding – kids that are out of control, violent, aggressive, confrontational, verbally abusive aren’t a problem? That’s right. I deal with them every working day. And they aren’t the problem!
So anything goes in my classes, right? Not on your life – they’re there to learn and do well, so that just isn’t an option…
They’re so under control they daren’t speak? No, they’re a happy, relaxed and contented bunch of kids.
No, the more experience I gained in my work, managing problem behaviour, the more I realised (quite some time ago), that it isn’t the children but the adults who are the problem. Teachers, parents, fellow professionals, Uncle Tom Cobbley and all. That’s where the problem lies.
I go into many schools, talk to many teachers, parents, other education professionals, and very few of them can manage children’s behaviour confidently and effectively. There’s almost a culture of learned helplessness in the education system – people throw up their hands in despair claiming they are powerless to act against the lawlessness of many children’s behaviour.
We have to ask why so many adults are not effectively managing children’s behaviour. They’re not unintelligent people. However, they don’t have the skills or confidence to deal with the problem behaviour they’re encountering almost every working day. Negativity prevails – they don’t know what do to and assume they can’t do anything. They offer so many reasons why it’s not happening – I hear the same excuses every day…
Even the professionals who go into schools giving advice on behaviour management get it wrong. One of the problems is that such people don’t work at what I call the ‘pointy end’ – they don’t actually manage children in the classroom day to day. So they don’t suffer from the inadequacy of their advice. And those at the ‘pointy end’ are stuck putting into practise what is basically garbage – all it does is increase the problem. Children soon realise that you have no idea about controlling behaviour and have a high old time running you ragged. Read about my first day’s experience in the world of extreme behaviour problems and you’ll see that I know what it’s like to be in that unenviable position. I do know what it’s like to be out of your depth!! It’s exhausting, stressful and disheartening.
But hey – it doesn’t have to be a problem. You can take control and become a confident and effective classroom practitioner – anyone can. The great thing is that it’s not hard to do. Read up on the strategies you need, practise them consistently and use them all the time. You’ll see changes almost straight away and your confidence will grow.
As an adult you have to accept that it’s your job to manage children’s behaviour so they can mature with confidence, knowing they can cope in any situation. We have to make sure we have control until they have matured sufficiently to take control themselves.
Liz Marsden manages children’s extreme behaviour in the classroom on a daily basis. She trains teachers, student teachers and classroom assistants in effective behaviour management strategies. Her highly recommended book Behaviour Bible passes on the essential skills that Liz has developed so successfully. Her online diary follows her day to day work and experiences in classes and schools.
categories: behaviour management,managing children’s behaviour,managing challenging behaviour,classroom management,kid’s behaviour,conrolling children’s behaviour,education,classroom control,behaviour and learning,society,family
